Take a slice of lemon and scrub it across your teeth. Bicarbonate of soda works better, but it also corrodes them.

Chew lettuce to a pulp (if you can) and then hold it around the tooth. It acts as a local anaesthetic - but this doesn't really work with an abscess. An alternative if you're really desperate is to swill your own piss around your mouth - I don't know anyone who has done this, but my brother does and says it works.

Give children ice cream to stop the bleeding - and the crying!

Boil chicory in water and then drink the water.

Eat rice, apples and carrots.

Eat pears and prunes. Take a spoonful of olive oil with a few drops of lemon.

Take bicarbonate of soda, lemon and water. You can't take bicarbonate of soda too often, so in this case drink juice of half a lemon instead.

To avoid an acid stomach, don't drink water while eating lentils, and when cooking tomatoes add a little sugar.

When Jari was about one month old I gave him some powdered milk which I had put in a flask to stay warm. He was poisoned and near dying - shitting continuously. In the hospital they gave him carob boiled in water until it was thick, for food and to stop shitting.

Take a piece of ice and put it on the haemorrhoid for as long as you can bear. This hurts, but it goes back inside much better than with creams. You can try cold water first.

Boil lemon skin or bay leaves in water and then drink it.

Worms are like vampires, they don't like garlic. When he was little my brother Fausto had them. He was crying all the time from the stomach ache and my mum saw some worms in his shit. She rubbed cloves of garlic on the palms of his hands, his temples and throat, and then left plenty under his pillow at night. After a couple of days, they came running out - I can remember the first potty full of white worms wriggling. My mum kept going with the garlic for a few days until they all finished.